Thursday, April 8, 2010
Last night I went to Zumba. I haven’t been to the gym in a couple months and I think I’ve reached a new low. It was a really hard work out. I kept thinking this is too hard, I used to feel good when I worked out, now I feel out of breath and my knees hurt. While I worked out I was looking around the room and I couldn’t help comparing myself to the beautifully fit women. I thought about how our bodies are a gift to us. I felt really bad that I had let myself go. I have not done a good job of caring for my body. I have not shown my gratitude for such a wonderful gift. I’ve felt bad about being out of shape before but it’s never struck me so profoundly that I am the care taker of this body, this body that is a gift to me. I felt like a spoiled child who doesn’t care for the things they are given. This time I didn’t feel bad because of my size or fitness level I felt bad because I was not thankful for my body.
I’m working at it. Yesterday was definitely interesting though. I seriously had to fight back the tears while I worked out. How embarrassing would that have been to have a full on melt down at the gym.
After Zumba, Coco and I went to my house and watched Moulin Rouge. And that made everything a little bit better. So glad I have good friends who like to watch cheesy movies with me. I had not watched that movie in years and I still love it. It's a chick flick for sure but it's a little bit corky and weird, which is perfect for a girl like me.